Scared of my own damn people
3 children - 2 boys (15), (11) and 1 girl (9)
I was thinking of homseschooling my son. As you can imagine there are many reasons, but when push comes to shove, I think I have to admit that fear of Black people has led me to this decision. Now, I won't say fear of my people is the only reason, but it is a big reason; maybe sixty to seventy percent of the reason.
My youngest son Shane will be entering junior high school this fall and that scares me to death. Not only is the New York City school system overcrowded and understaffed, but its is woefully inept and dangerous as hell. Junior high school and high school was bad when I went and some twenty years later, it has only gotten worse.
I live near a junior highschool, the one my son is suppose to be attending this fall and what I see from these kids every afternoon when I am picking up my children is enough to scare any Mother and scared I am.
But not just me, my son is scared as well.
Every afteroon I am treated to my daily dose of cursing, fighting and stealing. These kids have the filthiest mouths and aren't afraid to use them…. even on adults.The young guys (usually Black) are always either fighting (attacking someone) or looking for a fight. I often overhear their conversations and it always has something to do with "F**king dat nigga up". But the person who has it the worse is the poor guy who runs the corner store. It is his place of business that these guys come to, to steal. I see dudes in there with cellphones and the most up to date gear, stealing twenty-five cent juices.
I have been witnessing this for years and it has progressively gotten worse.We now have cops rolling through the neighborhood telling kids to go home over the bullhorn, and as I watch these guys loitering around I can't help wonder where their parents are. When I got out of school I was expected to be home by a certain time and God help my behind if I was not.
I wrote all this to say, that I never thought the day would come where I would fear my own people but that time has indeed come. Actually, I don't fear them, I fear what they will do to my child and the effects it will have on him and his education.
You can't learn in a school or classroon that is out of control.You can't learn if you fear going to school. You can't learn if you fear being attacked or called names for actually doing your work and trying to get an education. It's not talked about much, but I think a good number of kids who drop out of school do so out a fear.It's not just the bad kids or hoodlums who drop out.Many kids simply fear for their lives.I knew many such kids when I was in school and I don't plan on allowing this to happen to my son.
Homeschooling my son is not a done deal as private school or maybe even Catholic school is an option his Dad and I are keeping open. But my heart is definitely set on schooling him myself. Not only do I think I can do better job and give him that one on one attention he could never get in a NYC classroom, but as you might imagine from what I posted above, he would be a lot safer and that is what matters to me most.