Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Our version of perfect

Ebony - 35
Columbus, Ohio
4 Children - 1 girl (9) and 3 boys (4) (1 ½) (3 mo)

I've always wanted to be one of those mothers who was always on the move. Cooking my kids nutritious lunches and dinners. Oatmeal for breakfast on cold days to warm their insides up. House didn't need to be spotless, but presentable at the very least. Taking them to the park to play. I pictured us having picnic dinners in the living room floor "just because" and clean clothes folded and put away nicely in the drawers. You know, very June Cleaver like. Instead I'm very Peggy Bundy like.

But then I never expected to be separated with 4 kids, no car (the bus is no fun with a double stroller let me tell you), no support and getting just enough temp jobs to pay the rent. and. nothing. else.

I'm always rushing to make it out the door by 7 a.m. and when I roll back in at 7 p.m. I sit down and watch Jeopardy. Then I drag myself into the kitchen to make "something" for dinner, then it's of to bed for the kids. The house often doesn't get cleaned until the weekend, if then. I yell more than I want to, read less than I like and want to throw up when I even see a beaver on TV.
Today on the way home on the dreaded bus, as my kids were happily playing with each other, and even my three month old laughed, a woman said, "You got your hands full, but they sure are happy kids." I smiled and thought, "June Cleaver ain't got nothin’ on me."

I may not have turned out to be the mother I always thought I would be, but my kids are healthy and happy and I'm just the mama I need to be.
*Ebony writes about motherhood at www.ebonyblue.blogspot.com


Anonymous Idrissa said...

"Them sure are some happy kids", says it all. God bless you and those very happy little ones. They won't always be young; (so enjoy it)you won't always be financially challenged (just hold on) and the days of reading and relaxing are on the horizon.

God just made us mama and we make do no matter what it takes. I admire you. Keep on loving them happy, happy kids!


10:03 AM  
Anonymous jasai said...

I can recall the days of getting up at 6 a.m. to feed and dress my 8 week old son to then load us both onto the city bus, him strapped to my chest, school books on my back. He is eleven now and everything about that time seems like sheer bliss; the smell of his baby hair and neck, him so warm and weighty against me. I don’t recall the other people, the length of the ride, the cost, the hassle. I’m sure it was all there but only the blessings remain. All the best to you and your beautiful family. May these times shine bright today and in your future memories.

10:21 AM  
Anonymous angel said...


In these times, when people seek out and overindulge in all manner of outward things to give themselves pleasure, when children as well as adults seem chronically dissatisfied and unable to determine what "enough" really is, in a society of people who really don't know what "the little things" are anymore, who think that the sunrise is a given rather than a gift --- be so very thankful that your children have what money can never, ever buy.

Conditions change. Hold on. It's alright, even when it doesn't feel so. Thank you for reminding us all of pure and simple happiness.


7:14 PM  
Anonymous schunetta burns-wilson said...

God is so good and I dont have to encourage you because you seem to know that through it all u are blessed and that someone is less fortunate than you. Just a little laugh for you....Gas is too high these days and the freeways are too hectic enjoy the bus & may God's blood keep you covered

10:44 AM  
Blogger cloudscome said...

but my kids are healthy and happy and I'm just the mama I need to be.

You got that right - everything else doesn't matter! Hug those happy kids again!

6:50 AM  
Blogger Trula said...

Happy kids! that's how you know you are a good mama.


11:40 AM  
Blogger KA said...

I love this. I think we all had our idealistic visions of how "perfect" our families would be -- and then reality set in. Very few of us ever realize that ideal, but thanks for the reminder that happiness is key and perfection is what you make it.

7:42 AM  
Anonymous Ekere said...

This is beautiful and massively inspiring. Thanks for it.

11:57 AM  
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