Mamahood: A Beautiful Tale

Idrissa -53
Newark,NJ
1 daughter - 26

Being Mama for me has been an awesome experience. My pregnancy was one of the happiest times of my life and the following years of raising a little African American princess, with shiny bright eyes and a quick-witted mind, were years of joy and total responsibility which bonded me to the wonderful young woman that my little girl has become.

Yet at the age of fifty three my duties as Mama have become those which I never expected. My adult daughter has been chronically ill for the past few years and I am her primary caregiver. Still, I thank God that I find JOY in my duties with faith and hope that her healing will one day be complete.

My daughter is 26 years old; educated, smart and very assertive. She is a spiritual being with her eye on the Lord despite her many challenges. She has faith that totally amazes me some days. Having struggled through asthma as an infant, juvenile diabetes since she was nine and orthopedic surgeries from a birth defect as a pre-teen, health challenges are not something new to us. But her recent crisis with end-stage renal failure brought new meaning to faith, patience and accepting what is, rather than what we hoped for.

Being Mama daily means that I must witness my child deal with frustrating limitations that would destroy the average person. My daughter is no average daughter and as a result, I am no longer the average Mama. Yet I still find JOY in my mamahood; the many, many hospital admissions, sometimes to the Critical Care Unit, the many medications and dietary restrictions, the home care professionals that invade our privacy are just something that we handle. We refuse to ignore the light at the end of the long tunnel we know as life.

My mother often advised me that motherhood is not something we are ever prepared for. "It's OJT (on-the-job-training) and you just have to do the best that you know how and to trust in the Lord." My mother ain't nevah lied!

It breaks my heart sometimes to see her suffer and to watch her struggle to climb the mountains that face her. As much as I want to I can not climb those mountains for her. But I am committed to climbing with her for as long as she needs me. Her faith is unwavering (even when mine is shakey) and I am encouraged by how brave she can be.

I am also strengthened by her faith in me; she knows that like God, I will never forsake her nor will I leave her alone. This bond brings me joy in my sadness. It may not be the party that I expected but I am still gonna dance! This is not the life that I would have chosen for she and I but I am still grateful for this life, for this journey of being a Mama to one of the most exceptional daughters in the world.

A mother's love has no boundaries. We give all that is needed no matter how deep we have to dig to find it. We find joy in our ability to be the Mama that God meant for us to be and we find strength in His absolute love.

Mama=equals love!