Thursday, April 27, 2006

The great mommy debate: remixed


April 24, 2006

Britni--25
Los Angeles, CA
1 son (6months)

Last night my aunt (my babysitter) called to say she couldn’t watch my son today. And of course, I don’t have a backup sitter. Although it is frustrating to be given such short notice and have to take off work, hanging out with my son is a welcomed break. A few weeks ago, the same thing happened, but instead of taking two days off, I worked from home. I am thankful that my job provides some flexibility, but staying home--even for a day--always makes it harder to return to work.

I know I’m not alone. All throughout my pregnancy I read thousands of magazine articles, books, and trolled the ‘net for baby advice. A lot of the time I’d come across articles dealing with the great mommy debate: to work, or not to work. For many of us, the option does not exist. Being as not-so-single, single-mommy, I don’t have a second income to fall back on. I must work. And for now, working means getting up early, dropping off my son, and driving to the office. It’s a routine that I’m used to, but now that I’m a mommy I want something more.

Being on maternity leave was the best vacation I’ve ever had. It also gave me time to reconsider what I thought “work” should be. Getting up every morning and leaving my little one makes me feel as though I am missing out on so much. At six months old he has already grown so much, wiggling and rolling and smiling wider each day. The last thing I want to do is be at work when he takes his first steps or mumbles his first word.

So what’s a
mommy to do?

It’s easy for me to dream of working from home, but never realize it. It’s easy to become a worker bee, driving to an office each day and working a job I don’t really enjoy. But I’d
rather be the Queen. I’d rather work from home or the park or a beach in Jamaica, while I’m spending time with my son. I want to be able to provide for him, while keeping my sanity and happiness as a woman in tact. I know it will take a little more drive and a little more hustle, but I’m willing to work a little harder to get where I want to be.
Who knows, in a year or two, you may look up and see my name in your favorite magazine’s byline.

11 Comments:

Blogger Soulfull said...

I totally relate to this... Although I'm working from home now, I know it's going to be hard to return to the outside workforce and have to spend less time with my boys... Great post...

10:49 PM  
Anonymous Leigh said...

I understand how you feel, truly I do. I work everyday, and most days I want something different too. I want to be home with my son while he's growing up right before my eyes. I wanted to be the one to experience those first moments like walking and talking.

My mother watched our son when he was younger. One day she called me so excited that he said his first word - bird. I cried because I missed it, but I was happy he was with family when he did say something.

I think this is an age-old thing we all have to deal with. I deal with it by staying in a job that has a great deal of flexibility as far as taking off, but not a lot of potential. I guess that's my trade off for working.

6:05 PM  
Anonymous britni said...

yeah, it's definitely something i've come to face...to stick with a job because it pays & is somewhat flexible even though i don't enjoy it? or try to find something i enjoy?

that's what it boils down to...i'm on my grind for something better.

1:50 PM  
Anonymous jasai said...

I have stayed at home to work, worked outside of the home and even once quit my job to be a SAHM (this lasted a VERY short time as I did not quite "get it") and I will say that for me, the best scenario is the one where I have the option to do any one of these.

Today my situation requires that I work outside of the home but I am hoping to get some flexability again soon.

Good luck to you lady, in getting your dreams accomplished. Generally, doing what you love brings all kinds of new freedoms.

3:23 PM

3:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

it's terrible that so many of us are in the same boat, because I too, work a job that I don't like at all. It pays very well, has flexibility, and keeps food on the table, my kids in private school, etc., but I am not the least bit satisfied with it. Like you, I want more!!! There's got to be more to it than a good paycheck!
Uugh!

I too had, and still have dreams of getting out from under this grind, but with two kids to support, I don't feel I can make a move without totally having the finances in place.

5:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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