what happens in the aftermath

May 18, 2004

Kellie -50
South Pasadena, CA
2 girls (21) and (18)

Being mama: fulfilling. challenging.

Erica was in a car accident very early Sunday morning, coming home from Edgar’s house. She was hit-T-boned on the driver side door-by another car. The driver fled the scene. So did the witnesses.

Their actions made impact on Erica: she could not believe that anyone would leave an accident, even if they were at fault. Weren’t they even interested in making sure she was not hurt? She would have stayed. She would have helped. Why would anyone do differently?

This is a tough teaching opportunity. I want her to learn the right lesson. But what is the right lesson? I don’t want her to be jaded, angry, or bitter based on how people treat her. But I don’t want folks to stomp on her heart either. I love her soft and caring heart. I want her to retain that even if it means she’ll be hurt from time-to-time. But it’s hard to teach someone to stay soft when you struggle to learn that very same lesson.

My child could have been killed in that accident.

This is very sobering.

I must enjoy her every day. I must love her every day. I must be there for her every day. It might be the last day I have with her. God might need her today.

And my other daughter...

I love her, but she can be self-focused to oblivion. I called her to let her know EJ had been in an accident. In all of the excitement, I wanted to make sure all of the family knew, including Mom and Dad and Auntie. Deidre responded by calling Erica and saying “Well thank you very much for telling me about your accident. I had to hear it from Mom. Why didn’t you call to tell me? Why did I have to hear it from Mom? You should have called me first.”

Erica answered, “I’m not hurt, thanks for asking.”